good morning, the weather is just beautiful today not too hot and not too warm. I woke up to a text message from one of my closest friend. He wrote that he is not happy, hasn’t been for a while, when I asked him why he said he did not know. And it got me thinking what makes one happy? Well there are alot of things that make me happy…jogging makes me happy, my family…well not all the times but mostly they do, cooking makes me happy, a pretty dress, music…and the list goes on but all this don’t make me fully happy. It only lasts a while then I’m back to wondering.
I had a nice childhood growing up, dint really lack much but there was always an emptiness that hunted me. I grew up in a church home my mum is seventh day Adventist and my dad ccap. He never really went to church my dad till today, like never so by default we went with our mum. When I become a teenager church didn’t really excite me anymore by the time it was in college I did not care or attend church at all. I got into drinking life of the party lifestyle, and that time my late brother was fighting brain cancer. It affected me a great deal and some how I used that as an excuse to my wild lifestyle.
when my brother passed away I became worse I was angry and bitter…at God. At a young age I was always taught how He is full of love, how He always takes care of us, it didn’t make sense why I was hurting and He did nothing to stop it. It became so bad that I went into deep depression, I was on antidepressants, sleeping pills but that void ,that void in my heart couldn’t go away. I didn’t have any purpose to live so I took the best way I could think of.
I’m writing about me cause I can relate to my friend who texted me. Not knowing why you are not happy, a human heart was built to be filled with love. Back in the garden of Eden before man fell Adam and Eve’s hearts were filled with love, they knew no sorrow, no saddness, no confusion ..but how? Because their hearts were embraced by the Creators love. God’s love filled that void until they disobeyed Him. For the first time they felt fear, loneliness, guilt…the void had been created. And since then man has been trying to feel that void by himself. Whether one admits it or not we all want to be loved. Now let’s end with a solution..in the beginning God created heaven and earth and everything that live in it and when He was done He said”it is well” that all changed when man fell since the God took it to Himself to restore all that has been lost which includes state of mind
if Adam and eve were happy and fulfilled because of God then there goes our answer!.. I didn’t know God until I really knew Him. The first time I prayed and felt His love I cried so hard and asked Him to forgive me for accusing Him for mistakes. The cross showed me His love…im worth it! And the void I have tried to fill so many times with earthly things He filled it. Only He can do that. Not what I intended to write about today but anyway.
God loves you…He really does!
s.
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